Last Thursday, on morning of April 25th, I experienced the worst day of my life. I don't think I have ever felt so heartbroken then I did that day. And it still hurts just as it did then three days later. My cat Ebony died. She was 14 years old and a very big part of my life.
On February 21st 1998, she was given to me as present ~ I was 8 years old. I do not really remember much of my life before I had her, to me she has always been around. She was with me every single day for 14 years and now that she is gone, I feel quite empty, like a huge part of myself has gone. And I do not know how to fill it in. I feel like I am carrying around this huge gap in my identity. And it makes me feel so lost. I look around my house and everything reminds me of her.
The house is quieter now. Everyone in my family thinks so. We still have three cats, one is my sisters, two are family cats. But Ebony was my own cat. And in a huge way, she was one of my best friends. It is really weird. I am taking her death a lot harder then my grandparents. I think it was because of being around her all the time, I felt closer to her.
She died of Liver Cancer, it got really bad, to the point of her being brain damaged but I stayed with her till the end, even when she was passing away. It was quite a shock for me to handle all this. Because her symptoms started to develop so suddenly on the monday, she was taken in overnight on wednesday and by thursday morning I had to put her down. So when I got a call from my vets on Thursday morning that she was not doing good at all and that she was dying, I was in shock and heartbroken. I thought she would recover. So now I find myself at the point where I am trying to get used to her being gone. And I find myself empty.
She was a sister and a friend. And she had a very happy life.
But now I do not know what to do with myself. I feel like I need to find myself again. To fill the gap that I have lost. I am going to start a mini series of posts on my blog called 'Spring Distractions', it involves me doing fun, creative and random things in my life: I suppose it is a way of me moving forward to overcome my grief. These posts will be weaved in and out of my beauty posts. That will continue to keep going ~ don't worry.
I find blogging is a good way of distracting myself. So I will continue on as normal. But something new to the blog is a little lifestyle mini series that will be coming soon.
This is the deepest piece of writing I have ever wrote. So if this isn't your thing to read I apologise. Also if you hate cats, then this post also won't be your cup of tea. But I felt like I owed it to myself to talk about her on this blog.
I wouid also like to apologise if your new to this blog and this is the first post to crop up on your screen. But I will try and continue to be as regular with my beauty blog updates as possible. That is a promise.